A Twist of Create

A Lifestyle & Travel blog

What Do Our Forties Look Like?

🌟“Exploring the Art of Ageing: A Reflective Journey of Self-Discovery and Social Evolution”.✨

If you go by the social media landscape of TikTok filters, Botox, fillers, and the world of influencers and celebrities, you could easily be left with this warped perception of what middle-aged women should look like and our lack of existence otherwise; I mean, where are all the forties women?

I know we are out there because I am one of them; when I catch up with close friends who are in the same age group, there is this mutual exchange of “Oh my gosh, I am experiencing the same thing too”, and I cannot lie; I was slightly hesitant to write this post, as there is a great fear around ageing and external pressures to maintain youthfulness, when in fact it is should be something to celebrate!

It is such a unique time if I compare it to my twenties and even thirties; yes, nowadays, I have to contend with all the fun and exciting changes which come with age, i.e. weight gain, less elasticity in the face, notably more aches and pains, grey hair appearing at a ridiculous rate and not to mention hormonal changes, but what it has also given me is perspective and possibility to evolve.

“When evolving you must get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Know that discomfort is a sign of growth” – Uknown

I am forty-three now, and truthfully, every day is different; there are many moments of discomfort in my own body, which is hard not to focus on the physical as I see myself every morning in the mirror, and that is why there is an emphasis on taking better care of both my mental and physical wellbeing and most importantly remembering to be kind to myself in the process.

More than anything, we are trying to understand ourselves during this time; therefore, I view this transitional period as an opportunity to explore further, a rediscovery, if you will. I would come across this saying, “Get comfortable with the uncomfortable“, and it has never resonated with me more than now; as much as my self-awareness has grown, some days are going to be messy and chaotic, filled with frustrations and self-doubt though, it is through those junctures where the most growth will transpire. 

We are fortunate to have instant access to a wealth of information; listening to specialists sharing their expertise and practical advice via their social media, podcast discussions, and articles has given me a language and a voice to have those open and honest chats with friends and taught me that despite numerous parallels, not every middle-aged woman’s experience is the same; as the generations shift, it will become the norm to see more women in their forties and above online, embracing their age and hopefully move towards relieving some of the stigmas attached to that.

Podcast episodes which stood out to me:


So, What Does Being in Our Forties Look Like?

Truthfully, in everything I have and have not said in this post, there should be no boundaries, expectations, or milestones met; we get to define our own path and show all the faces of what women in their forties look like and as much I am done with all the social pressures of how one should look and how much I have my ish together, there is going to be contradictions to that notion.

We are not a “10 Things You Must Do Before Turning 40” and no shade to anyone who has written articles on that subject; for me, this type of messaging can add unattainable pressure, and it also feels small, it feels restricted; why put limitations on ourselves?

One of the perks of getting older is undoubtedly fewer Fs given on what people think of you, and I am sure it will only grow with time.

“We have to get to know ourselves from a new lens, that’s the gift that menopause actually gives us” – Dr Mindy Peltz

I wanted to share some things that have been helping me during this chapter. It’s been a bit of a challenge, but I’m making progress and learning a lot along the way.

  • Talking to friends: As easy as it sounds, for someone who HATES the thought of being a burden, I need my gal pals; I need community, even if that community consists of two people. As the saying goes, A problem shared is a problem halved.

  • Exercising regularly: Finding an exercise I actually enjoy and not what I think I should be doing, as well as an awesome studio with awesome people, has been an absolute game changer for me.

  • Rest: A necessary one I am still exploring- what does rest look like for me.

  • Therapy: It is an investment, and It took me until recently to start going, and I haven’t looked back.

  • More home-cooked meals when my husband and I have the energy.

  • Journaling: I write most days; there is no format I free-write. Something is healing in penning down thoughts on paper, as my mind can easily be consumed with stuff!

  • Quality time with loved ones: Hands up for the overthinkers! I can be so preoccupied in my head, which takes my presence away from the ones who Love me the most. I have good and bad days with this, but the self-awareness is there now.

  • Taking guilt-free naps.

  • Breathing Exercises: Has worked wonders in moments of feeling anxious or when I sense a panic attack coming on.

  • Blogging: My creative outlet:)

What has your experience been like in your forties thus far? Any other lessons you’ve learned along the way!

Till Next Time

xx